Friday, November 03, 2006

Rod Dreher is Bad, Amen!

A couple of weeks ago, Rod Dreher announced that he left the Roman Catholic for the Orthodox Church, in a post about the length of the Old Testament. I didn't have anything to say about it because I don't generally comment on religious matters.

But now I have my own announcement. I have joined the Church of Rod Dreher Is Bad. Let me tell you a little bit about it. Our spiritual leader is Bubba of The Contra-Crunchy Conservative (Jonah Goldberg is a Bishop). Our central tenet is that Rod Dreher is Bad. We don't like him. We don't like his 13 year old Mercedes. We don't like the New Testament length of the subtitle of the hardcover version of his book, yet we don't approve of the shortened version on the paperback. We don't care for that Larison guy either, he thinks that he is so smart. The worst thing that Dreher does is fail to excuse the arrogance and incompetence and stupidity of Republican rule of the last six years. How dare he notice what a disaster the Iraq war has been! How dare he not attempt to scare his readers by screaming "Pelosi!, Pelosi!, Pelosi!"

The best thing about our Church is that it doesn't have all of those stuffy rules and Commandments. In fact, we are willing to excuse and forgive any failing and swallow any amount of crap -- so long as you are a Republican politician.

You can't believe the peace this gives me. I now have an answer for everything. You say that the Republicans deserve to lose, I say Rod Dreher is Bad. You say that the war in Iraq is actually harming our national security, I say Rod Dreher is Bad. You say that conservatives shouldn't let America become a gigantic WalMacStarMartBucks, I say Rod Dreher is Bad. Life is so simple, yet so meaningful now.


Dennis Dale said...

I detect sarcasm. Therefore I have decided to go out and start my own blog. I will call it Contra-clarkstooksbury.

Sorry, but any who stop to question even the most tangential aspect of current Republicanism (War and Wal-Mart, uber alles) will be systematically subjected to the concentrated ridicule of our satirical shock troops, lest your pernicious skepticism contribute to the bias of the liberal media, demoralize the troops, crowd out the plentiful "good news out of Iraq", or distract from the exigent task of parsing the most recent utterings of Sen. Kerry.

You and that stuffed-shirt intellectual Larison can counter all you like with "facts"; we are impervious to these tricks, I assure you.

By the way, we do not answer "Rod Dreher is bad" to everything. Sometimes when you say the war is a catastrophe we say "John Kerry hates the troops"; other times you say that the WMD threat was a ruse, we say "unemployment is down"; when you say we don't have a plan for Iraq we shout, "speaker Pelosi!"; etc. We have dozens of replies in fact.

Anyway, you just made the list, buddy. Get ready to endure some of the most withering second rate satire the net has yet produced, Stooksbury!

Clark said...

We have a new commandment. "Dennis Dale is Bad." I'm sure Bubba will agree.

Bubba said...

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.