Pepto

More from the genius (registration):

I like Pepto-Bismol. There. I said it. When I have a gut full of battery acid and barbed-wire shards, I reach for the big pink bottle, and I glug it straight. You feel it descending on your stomach lining, like a curtain falling on a bad play. It never seems to cure anything, but it's a comfort; I always have a bottle in reserve, and it's Maximum Strength, too, baby. Sure, it's overkill, but once they admitted the existence of Maximum Strength, Regular was off the table. I think Maximum was like their private reserve, something they bottled for popes and astronauts. Now we all have access, and I'm not going back.

Surely, the Times, the Post, the Journal and the New Yorker will get into a bidding war for such talent. And to think that the Star-Trib expects a man of this talent and skill to go out and work for a living.
UPDATE: It had to happen, Day by Day has taken up Lileks' cause.